I’m so happy that it is FINALLY feeling a little like wintery goodness outside!  It’s December, and it’s been in the 70’s for who knows how long.  I enjoy cold weather, so the warm in the winter was starting to wear on me.  (There’s a little alliteration for you, kids.)  Either way, that Global Warming stuff is a bugger, and I’m happy that I finally have cause to start a fire in the fireplace, eat a grilled cheese with tomato soup, and read a book.  Heck yes!

So … 2006 is rapidly approaching its end.  I haven’t ranted any of my nonsense in a while, and I figure there is no better time than now.  A slightly bum-fuddled recap of 2006, this shall certainly be!

Where to begin?  Oh!  Okay …

Well, it started out … uh … crud … how did it start out?  If there was anything wrong with this year in general, maybe that’s it … I can’t even remember how I welcomed it.  It appears I will be needing to go a different route.  I’ll just run down a list of my choosing, how about?  Sound good?  Yeah, sounds grand to me, too!  (What do they say about talking to yourself?  It’s okay, as long as you don’t answer?  Well, I answer all the time.  I don’t even want to know what that says about me!)  Yowza!

Life — In general, it’s been pretty good to me this year.  I’ve been healthy, I’ve had my great friends and family by my side, I’ve done really well in school … I can’t complain too much about life in an all-encompassing sense.  I am alive, after all!  That’s all we really need to know about that.

Projects — I started two large ones, and am currently considering taking on another.  The first?  My novel.  I’m still working on it, but I feel I’ve hit somewhat of a wall.  I can’t decide which direction I want it to take.  There are so many avenues I could puruse.  Which road to take, where to go?  I’m not sure just yet.  I’m thinking about it, but not rushing anything … just letting it work itself out in my head.  (Good plan, good plan.)  So, in the midst of taking a step back from the novel (while not completely stopping!), my friend, Mel, approached me about another idea.  We haven’t done much with it yet, but we intend to.  Busy times right now … busy, busy times.  But … it’s in the works, that’s for sure.  The project I’m thinking of beginning soon?  Selling some of my artwork.  I’ve been working on these ideas … that I can’t talk about just yet because some of my friends are getting them for Christmas.  They are simple, but I really like them.  As soon as the gifts have been given, and I actually decide to start selling more, I will put some pictures up and add them to my website.  Oh yeah!  Make that four projects!  The fourth?  My website.  It’s half-way done.  I had to stop it entirely to attend to the 18 hours of Senior classes I took this past semester.  Yikes!  You can’t do everything all at once.  I get it, I get it!  So, while none of the projects are finished, or anywhere near actual completion, really … I am working on them.  I guess what really matters are the ideas, and having persistence enough to hammer away at them.  Ideas … check!  Persistence … check, check!

Love Life — What?!  “Love life …”  Huh?  “You heard me!”  Oh yeah … that … got it.  Truth?  I don’t give a damn about time and when and where and how and why anymore.  I don’t even think about “It” too much these days.  It’s amounted to a grand amount of phooey.  Any hint of romance, or a love life this year (for the most part) has been overshadowed by a blinding/cripling fear of being vulnerable … mixed with the apprehension that love, real love, is a sham created by television, music, and the movies to make us all miserable in our pursuits … something known about, but never actually witnessed.  Ha!  No, no, I really don’t think that way.  I know love exists.  Hell, I’ve been in love before.  It seems like eons ago, but I have been.  I’m sure I will be again.  2006 has been an exploration in myself more than anything … learning to love myself before I love someone else, and buillding a solid, stable relationship with myself before I even attempt another with someone new.  It’s beyond important, I know this now.  “We must be our own before we can be another’s.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Dude knows what he’s talking about!  And, you know, I could wax all-knowing and wise until I turn purple and pass out, but the truth is that I’m just as clueless as the next person on this stuff.  I don’t know what it all means, and I don’t know if I ever even want to know.  Because, really, I have no, freaking clue most of the time what I want, much less how it should be.  So, there’s that. 

Theme Song — I finally found mine!  What’s yours?!  Mine is I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch) by The Four Tops, baby!  I think you can instantly know a lot about a person by asking what their theme song in life is … also by the music they listen to regularly … but, you know, that’s a little off-topic.  There’s a lot to be discovered about me in my selection.  Uh-lot!  Not just in the words, either … in the music.  Lovin’ it!

New Things — I’ve become interested in things like knitting and sewing.  I realized that it doesn’t matter if it makes me sound old and boring, it makes me feel even more creative than before, and it’s actually fun!  In fact, the new artwork I’m working on in a mesh of these new skills I’m picking up … in a strange way. 

Music — I have officially fallen back in love with music this year.  Seeing who was actually behind the songs soured me for a while, but I have put that away and re-opened that door.  In short, the affair is back on and more intimate than ever!  With music, that is.  There’s this cheesy avatar that says something like “Music is my boyfriend!”  That’s a little like how I feel.  I can’t play an instrument, save a little dabbling in piano these days, but I sure do love me some music!  It’s almost transcendent for me … spiritual.  I’ve discovered a lot of great, great music this year, but I have to say that my favorites of the year are still Speak For Yourself by Imogen Heap, We Were Here by Joshua Radin, and 9 by Damien Rice.  Those are just the new CD’s, mind you.  Don’t even get me started on everything that didn’t come out this year!  I’d be here all week, and then I’d miss my family coming into town for Christmas … which would be sad.  But, yeah, I’ve been all about the music this year … again! 

Random:

– I started eating meat again, after being a vegetarian for 3 years.  It was a personal decision, just as stopping in the first place was a personal decision. 

– Uh … oh, I stopped wearing panties, then started wearing them again.  It’s true; hence, the line that almost made Melissa fall out of the car one night while driving … “He fell in love with someone else, so I stopped wearing panties.”  It was my headline on MySpace for a long time … and it will probably be again someday.   It’s just so … telling … so … me.  Besides, it makes me chuckle every time I say it/think of it/read it.  Classic!

– I started watching Scrubs re-runs and am hooked … likewise, I have a total schoolgirl crush on Zach Braff and have no shame whatsoever in admitting it. 

– Hmmm … OH! … I’m more blunt than ever.  I stopped caring about what other people want me to be and have genuinely embraced who I am.  No bullshit, you know?  If I exercise, it’s for me … just like if I shove my face into a pint of Homemade Vanilla With Strawberries, it’s for me.  I mean, that is, if I ate ice cream … I’m off it for now.  You get the idea, though.

– I’m inching ever-so-closely to graduation (Lord and everyone else knows it’s far past time).  In some unexpectedly weird twist of fate, I have started to truly enjoy my classes.  Strange how that works.  Nice, huh? 

– Oh, oh, oh!  I’ve decided to adopt a few British words and use them in my own, everyday speech.  Words like “wanker,” “bugger,” “shag,” “fancy,” “bits,” ”bollocks,” and “knickers” are used more often than ever.  I do believe “knickers” is my favorite, though.  As in, “No you may not take a peek at my knickers!”  It’s just great! 

– I also have a new catch phrase that I have mentioned once already … “Such-and-such is the junk!”  It suppose the best way to explain it is to say that it replaces “the shit” in sentences.  Like … “Happenstance by Rachael Yamagata is the junk!” 

– What else, what else?  Oh!  I started cooking more often, and I’m not too bad.  Viva La Chicken! was my most recent exploration.  A little bit spicy, but so yum-my!  I plan on getting superly-rockin’-uber-good at cooking within the next year.  In fact, I’m going to make it a New Year’s Resolution.  (More on those later, much later.) 

With that, I’m done with my nostalgic/narcissitic rant for the day.  If you are still awake/breathing/alive, you deserve some sort of medal!  I’ll conclude with a suggestion, or two …

Song – I Don’t Care What You Call Me by David Ford (Lyrics) (MySpace/Listen)
An old friend turned me onto it a while back, but I forgot about it after a while.  I heard it randomly yesterday and can’t stop listening to it (again).  It’s sad, yes … but it’s sad in that good way. 

“Rain it on down
What else can you throw at me?
I haven’t heard before

And tear me on down
I am unforgivable
So why don’t you just tell me what you really think again

Scream me on down
I am so forgettable
Yes, I know …”

Poem — The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot (Read it!)
It is one of my favorites.  I don’t know why, but it always makes more sense at this time of year.  Maybe it’s because of the air, or the weather … but it just does. 

“And indeed there will be time 
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street, 
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;         
There will be time, there will be time 
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet; 
There will be time to murder and create, 
And time for all the works and days of hands 
That lift and drop a question on your plate;        
Time for you and time for me, 
And time yet for a hundred indecisions, 
And for a hundred visions and revisions, 
Before the taking of a toast and tea. 
 
In the room the women come and go        
Talking of Michelangelo. 
 
And indeed there will be time 
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?” 
Time to turn back and descend the stair, 
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—        
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”] 
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin, 
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin— 
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”] 
Do I dare         
Disturb the universe? 
In a minute there is time 
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse. 
 
For I have known them all already, known them all:— 
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,         
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons …”

Oh, yeah … one more thing … Little Miss Sunshine comes out on DVD tomorrow.  Rent it, buy it, watch it! 

That’s all for now.  Good evening, friends!  Hope all is well, wherever you are.