Begin rant.

So, maybe I’m just a little grumpy because I’m out of school, working full-time, and hungover from taking too much cold medicine last night, but as I was checking my email this morning, I came across THIS … and it somehow managed to really irritate me in the midst of my Chai Tea bliss. 

For those of you who don’t click on the link and read the entire article, it’s basically about how “joyous” it is to be single over the holidays.  I mean, it’s called, Single this season?  Lucky you!, for crying out loud!  Now, maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much (or maybe it would, who knows?), but this is coming from a married woman, who is lamenting the loss of her singledom, complaining about having to spend extra money on new family members, talking about how hard it is to “please her man”, and fretting over the clash of their respective choices in trees.  I mean … seriously?!  That’s all you’ve got for why it’s “so, flippin’ awesome” to be single around Christmas?! 

I’m disturbed on so many levels, I don’t even know where to begin.

You know, here’s the truth … yes, it can be stressful to purchase gifts for a significant other … especially when they are the kind of person who seems to have everything they want already.  And, yes, it is much easier to buy for your girlfriends/guy friends, depending on your gender.  However (and this is a HUGE “however”), it can also be a whole heck of a lot of fun to buy for your love, if you let it be.  My idea?  Make a theme of it.  Do something like … Make It Yourself … or … Our First Month Together … or … What Would Look Good On Me? … I mean, cripes … get creative and have some fun with it!  That’s what the holidays should be about, right?  Right!  Sheesh, when did all of the cheer of giving get sucked out of this time of year?! 

It really, really bothers me.  (And it rhymes!)

Granted, I’ve never done anything like those ideas mentioned above when I’ve had someone special over the holidays … but you can bet your sweet bippy that I will the next time around.  The lack of inventiveness, or “lighthearted fun”, or whatever in my past has spawned from a number of things … mainly, me being young and not knowing any better.  In truth, I have either gone way overboard, or just not done much as far as holidays are concerned.  With me, the way overboard was when I was really, really young and thought that is what you were supposed to do … and the not doing much came from a lack of happiness in the relationship and general return of effort from the other person.  But, you know, it shouldn’t be like that.  There have been a few I have really, really thought out, and, for those, I am truly proud.  I’m still not claiming that I’ve always been Miss Funshine, and I admit that times like the holidays haven’t always been giggles and grandeur.  I’m just saying, well … they should be! 

I guess I’ve either been single long enough to forget all of the “real and true” problems that can come about, or I’ve just grown up a lot and let go of a lot of my silly b.s. that kept me from being happy in some of my past relationships (i.e. - insecurity, fear, idealism, naivete, not knowing what I want, staying too long with the wrong person, blah blah blah …).  For my sake (and a few others as well), I hope to Great Goodness that it’s more to do with the latter, and less to do with the former.

But, yeah, that article just really got under my skin and rubbed me the wrong way.  I have nothing against the girl who wrote it, I just don’t agree with her article.  I felt like it was … patronizing.  I can think of no better word.  Life isn’t Sex & the City (although I love the show), and being single is neither the best thing in the entire world, leaving you free to do whatever you want, spend your money however you want, have sex with whoever you want … nor is it the worst, end-of-the-world experience that some might feel like it is around the holidays. 

So, just for clarification … no, I’m not saying that I hate being single, or that I’m over here crying in my egg nog.  In fact, I’m perfectly happy being single.  Yes, I enjoy spending time with my girlfriends, getting to do whatever I want, whenever I want, and not having to stress out about certain “couple things” … like worrying my philandering boyfriend is doinking everyone else in the room (yeah, I’ve dated some real, truthworthy guys in my day!).  But, you know, at the very same time, it isn’t necessarily the most fun in the world to be completely single when everyone around you is spending time with boyfriends/girlfriends, having their first Christmas with their new family, engaged, happy, sunshine, daisies, and all of that good rot.  Still … you know … like I said before, it isn’t so bad, either.  It isn’t something that should be brooded over, that’s for darn sure.  What’s more, I (and I’m assuming most other singles “of a certain age” (mid-20’s-30’s) out there), don’t need some married person throwing any kind of patronizing crap about how shitty it is to be attached at them.  I know I don’t. 

I’ve been to the circus, and I’ve seen all the strings.  I know about being attached, and I know about being single.  I’ve done both many times in my life, thank you very much.  I’ve learned a lot, and I’m sure I have much, much more to learn in the future.  I’m just saying that, either way, single or attached, there is no reason to want to be the other just because it is the holidays.  You shouldn’t be pissed about having to buy extra presents for your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife’s family, just as you shouldn’t be sad that you don’t have that boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife to take to Christmas parties and sit by the fire with. 

I mean, really, just make the most of what you’ve got and don’t freak out about the rest! 

The grass isn’t always greener, is what I’m trying to say.  I’m not sitting around trying to convince my attached friends that being me right now is super-rockin’-awesome-as-all-heck just because I’m single … just as I would hate it if they were sitting around trying to make me feel less because they have someone and I don’t … just as I don’t complain to them about them being with someone while I’m single … just as I don’t need any of them telling me how great my life is because I am.  Get it? 

The point I’m trying to make here is to be happy, whatever you are and whoever you are with (or aren’t with, for that matter).  Isn’t that the point?  Am I missing something?  I mean, seriously!

Oh, and I recant my first sentence.  I’m in a smashingly great mood.  I’m not at all grumpy, and it isn’t the working, or the cold medicine … it’s just the article.  Ha!         

I hope everyone is well.  Happy 4 Days Until Christmas!

End rant.